Insecurity.

My most debilitating weakness is insecurity.

I hear a knock at the door. I ignore it, maybe it’ll go away. Not so fast. I let him sneak in and have a seat. I don’t say anything about his dirty feet, I just let it slide this one time, and we have conversations. I tell him he looks good , he nods. We make small talk and he tells me “keep hanging on, because…one day….just not today.” I offer him a drink, he’s kind and gently refuses. He grabs the remote and changes the channel. It’s no big deal, I wasn’t watching anything in particular. Next thing I know he’s in my fridge talking about how I need to get better food. He grabs the last string cheese and opens in mockingly in front of me. He opens a beer, then demands a cold glass. I tell him he can get it himself. He opens the freezer then slams it breaking off the handle. I jump up to see what his problem is. I get in his face, but by this time he’s steaming mad. He grabs me by the throat and breaks a glass over my head. We wrestle to the ground. But he’s too strong. He pulls a knife out of his back pocket and stabs me in the heart.

I bleed.

He leaves.

I should have punched him in the face when he was standing at the door, before he ever came into my house.

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