Dear Jesus,

Repost: I wrote this blog on March 3rd 2008. It was a really tough time in my life. I look back at this blog and I can see His faithfulness and my brokenness. It gives me a reference, point. I will continue to mark these moments in my life. The good, the bad, and the confusing. God is faithful.



The past couple of months, it seems as if I have misplaced you. I’ve looked everywhere for you, and still you come up missing, silent. The funny thing is that I pray and I know that you hear me, it just seems you don’t answer. I’m starting to get a bit nervous. I’ve never misplaced you before, and it seems that I have misplaced you at the absolute wrong time. The last time I remember having a two way conversation, I was standing in front of a sign that encouraged people to start new churches in Boston. I heard you, loud and clear. I said I would go. That was almost 15 months ago. After our conversation I figured the time frame would be 3-5 years from then, but now I know that was just my wish. Since that conversation my job has been given to another, my family moved in with my parents, and I’ve been at a complete loss. I wish I could find you, I need you.

I once heard someone say that if you misplace Jesus, do that last thing he told you to do, so that’s what I’m doing. We are moving to Charlotte on Wednesday, going to spend some time raising money to get to Boston…doing the last thing you said to do. I know that you know all this, but why is it that you seem to be silent right when I need you the most? I don’t know how to raise money or start a church. Jesus, I’m chasing after you with all I have. I need you.

I still have the 3 kids you gave to me, I haven’t lost them yet. Sometimes they are a handful, but Kellie does a great job with them. Most of the time its a madhouse with the 3 of them, breaking things and running all around. But when things go silent I know that they are up to something. I hope that’s what you are doing. I hope your silence means that you are up to something. Something that will blow my mind.

Jesus, I love you.


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