Wholly Cow

Disclaimer:
This post has been sitting in my “Drafts” folder for about 5 months now. I’ve been trying to get the guts up to post it. Today is that day. The day that I wrote this post, I must have thrown off all
restraint. It’s rough, tough and pretty raw.

Heavy Whipping Cream Church. With all the gusto needed to get you and all your needy friends though the work week. You will cry, repent, and be filled with the Holy Ghost the moment you walk into our doors. Find a pew quickly…but don’t sit in Sister Bessys seat, she won’t have it. Come as you are, as long as that includes a tie and a pair of loafers. We won’t sing any of those sissy songs here. Only the good, Hymns that momma sang. Here comes that offering plate, and I’m watching you sonny!

Skim Church. With only 23 calories and no mention of hell, not even once, you and all your friends can join us as we discuss your emotional needs. Enjoy talks about popular movies, how to have a better sex life, and how to be a better person. You will enjoy the best of pop culture because we are relaxed in how we dress and what songs we sing. Come one, come all, a better life awaits you.

Whole Church. There has got to be a medium where you can talk about sin, while being sensitive and bold at the same time. Where your heart matters more than your clothes. Where tough Biblical topics can be preached in a way that challenges our every day lives. Where people far from God can find life. A church that marries the two.

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  1. Here Here, brother!!

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